Runway fashion and us.

The global fashion world is constantly throwing that which our culture terms as indecent and immoral in our face as runway fashion.

The crazy has crept into our community and fashion shows in the continent are now showcasing our traditional fabrics with a touch of global fashion trend. Stick thin models are used to project these bare body styles. The mannequin like models a huge contrast to the traditional African woman who is meant to look supple and curvy.

The question here is, are fashion shows alien to us?

Recongnition

In the traditional African communal structure, recognitions are given to people who are high achievers and role models for others,

The form of recognition used would usually be the conferment of a title to a person which can be compared to the conferment of a knighthood in Western Europe. To attain this, the person's achievements are taken into consideration and better still, there is a character and integrity check to complement it.

The question is, are the people we are recognising in our communities worthy of the titles and honour we bestow on them? Are the right people been recognised or are people buying their way to recognition?

Child custody.

Who does the African child belong to? The birth mother, the father or the paternal/maternal extended family? The various cultures that constitute the African nation has got different approaches to issues of child custody.

For some, where the parents aren't customarily married, the child belongs to the mother and her family but in other cases where the parents are married and going through a divorce, the root cause of the divorce may determine who keeps the child.

Generally, the male child is usually said to belong to the father. There has been cases where boy kids are taken by their fathers during a divorce leaving the female children with their mothers.

Is this right, should a child be separated from their mother and other siblings?

Fear as a weapon of enslavement.

Fear is a powerful tool. Used over time to enslave people. There is a  recent report on Dailymail about a couple who trafficked two ladies from Africa in the United Kingdom. Both ladies were trafficked into the UK and used as sex slaves. They were afraid of leaving because they had been sworn to an oath before leaving their home country. An oath which for them was a convent they couldn't break. Breaking it for them meant imminent death or insanity.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2771290/Alleged-black-magic-sex-trafficking-victim-cut-machete-juju-ceremony-designed-scare-secrecy.html

Many people live in fear of the unknown and live a limiting life. What is it about fear that enslaves.

What is in a name?

The average African name has a meaning attached to it? A child born into a circumstance can be named to reflect the circumstance surrounding the time of their birth. Other names are given in anticipation of what the future might or should hold for the child.

The president of an African nation has his first name as Goodluck and we are told that goodluck has always been his lot. So, what is in a name?

The other woman/man.

Polygamy is widely accepted in the African community. This on its own is very different from extra marital affair. Its easy to quip 'the African man is polygamous in nature' but if that's the case, why sign into a monogamous relationship and end up putting your partner through heart ache. Worst cases are seen where the erring partner openly flaunts the other 'one' in the face of their spouse.

An article on Stella Dimoko's blog today tells the story of a man, his wife and his mistress. The question in this case is - who's the victim? The long suffering wife who has organised a surprise birthday gig for a husband that was stuck in a similar gig thrown by his mistress and ends up not showing? The mistress who says its not her fault she has fallen in love with another's husband and cant help herself but love? Or the husband who will always find a reason to justify his infidelity by painting a negative image of the wife he'd loved previously?

Live in nannies, a no no or?

What are the pros and cons of having a live in nanny. Does this have an impact on the couple's relationship and create a distance between the children and their birth parents? At what stage in the child's development is it appropriate to get one and how can you tell when it is time to go?

Does quest for education equate to quest for more knowledge

Certificate chasing has become the norm now leaving our African nation with a situation where entry level roles are over subscribed by post graduate certificate holders. The question here is - did these go on to study to post graduate level because of the quest for more knowledge or because it is their only means of remaining competitive in the job market?

Gratitude

How much do you have to sacrifice for people to appreciate what you have done for them. Many people who are the first child of their family spend their youth fussing after their younger siblings and their aged parents that they end up neglecting their own set goals and objectives.

The sad bit is that these people eventually find their feet(in the case of siblings) and the first born child is suddenly at a loss experiencing the flown nest syndrome. The question now is - are the beneficiaries of these acts of sacrifice thankful? Do they see it as an entitlement? Do the givers expect reward from the recipients? Are the recipients forever indebted to their benefactors?

African attitude to disablility

In our world, any form of disability is often seen as a consequence of an action done in the past by the individual or their family. The stigma associated with disability make the family member end up hiding the person or in worse cases, the family members virtually abandon the person that needs their help the most. Like coping with disability isn't hard enough, the isolation can outrightly drive them mad and they end up on the streets tagged 'madman or madwoman'

Should they be loved any less for a situation they'd rather not be in?

Vacations!

What do we classify as a vacation or time off? Usually a case of visiting a family member and spending time in their home. For the West, this is just a visit. But for us Africans, what better way to relax than with the people we love. Not drifting off in a sea of strange faces. The African support system means a lot to all of us.

Enterprising women

Are our men threatened by their women's success. A lot of African women are breaking new grounds and achieving great levels of success.  The quote usually thrown around in our community is 'behind every successful man is a good woman'. Can same be said for every successful woman?

Break from colonialism.

Do African nations actually break from the countries that colonised them? Recently,an article on the Vanguard Cameroon website talked about the Cameroonian president Paul Biya been snubbed by the French President Francois Hollande during the July14 National day celebration of France. All the African nations with colonial links to France has been invited except Cameroon.

The article goes on to read;

'It is based on this that observers are saying since Biya is no longer working in their favour, there is need for  a pro- French president at Etoudi given that the appellation of France as Cameroon’s first trading partner is only on paper because after 50 years of partnership, there is nothing to show on the Cameroon side which has now turned to new partners like China and Turkey'. Culled.

 

The question is, do African nations ever become independent of their colonial masters even after they have declared themselves independent?

The Eye Newspaper: OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE SYNAGOGUE, CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS IN RESPECT OF THE FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2014 INCIDENT

The Eye Newspaper: OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE SYNAGOGUE, CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS IN RESPECT OF THE FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2014 INCIDENT

Secrecy of pregnancy in our culture.

The average African woman is usually weary of revealing that she is pregnant. Often times even to the point where the pregnancy is very visible. Why is it so?

Measure of success

How do you measure success from an African perspective? Is it through financial wealth, children,  extended family, real estate, clout, pedigree? What is your take on success?

Our attitude towards nudity.

According to a report on daily mail today, Kanye West is reported furious after nude images of his wife Kim Kardashian West were leaked. The report says;

Kanye West is bound to be feeling a little out of sorts after seeing photos of his naked wife splashed across the web.

And the rapper certainly looked furious as he jetted out of Los Angeles on Sunday.

His departure came hours after naked photos of Kim Kardashian were leaked online in the latest twist in the celeb photo hacking scandal.

 

The intimate images, which were not meant for public view, have since been viewed by tens of thousands. Culled

The question is, are Africans less tolerant towards nudity than the West (no pun intended)

Africans and Sundays, does going to church make any difference

It's common practise for African Christians to go to church on Sundays (any form or structure will do). Failure to do so is often frowned upon by the local community. The question today is - does this have  any positive impact on the society?

Big brother Africa - Is there anything African about it

The hype is up for the new season of Big Brother Africa, The question is...Is there anything African about it? Is the house standard African or Western? Are the participants desperate to emulate the Western structure of the Western version and are we willing them to be something other than what they truly are and should be? Lets Discuss.

10 years in a relationship and no commitment

Dear blog visitors, I have been dating a guy from Uni days. Both graduated about 7 years ago, both have steady jobs, both families know each other. Basically, I am seen as a wife but haven't even  been proposed to. Too tagged as someone in a relationship to even make headway into a new relationship and I have a feeling his family know something they aren't telling.
Currently worried about the wasted years and too scared to start again. My life is just drifting and I am not getting any younger. Am 28 years  and he's 27. My family is getting worried that I am not getting any younger and time isn't on my side. I also want children and am getting desperate. He seems to be just ok with the way we are.
What do I do?

African Family Structure

Hi All,

Here to talk about the African Family structure highlighting the pros and cons. Topics such as extended family, childlessness, infidelity, finances, children, inlaws, peer pressure and marriages are welcome for discussion.